I think I might want to add this to do Berkeley To Do List.
I feel like the world is the most beautiful right after it rains.
Sun was shining as I left 45B discussion, and the world just seemed brighter, cleaner, more alive. Walking down Bancroft and smiling at the dewy purple flowers over my head while laughing at the antics of my Boston friend. Overcome with this feeling of excitement for the prospects of the weekend.
Returning to my empty apartment and feeling battered by sickness. Head cradled in my arms, legs splayed against white floors and my body leaning against cool porcelain. Shivering under layers of blankets running back and forth before succumbing to sleep. Sick & exhausted, woke up feeling shaky from lack of anything in my system. So I drank flat soda and made some jjuk. Midnight Safeway run with Raymond before coming back and sinking into my chair.
Tossing and turning, moving from bed to couch and bed once again, unable to sleep. Constantly staring at the clock and moaning in frustration.
Do you ever feel like you have too many thoughts in your head?
I feel like that a lot. It’s as if too many ideas are rushing through my mind, and I just want to turn my brain off so I can finally sleep.
Eventually drifted off sometime after 5AM only to wake up at 7. Contemplated returning to dreamland and giving my body a break, but I was consumed with guilt so forced myself to shower and head out.
Berkeley project and I shoveled and raked and threw wood chips onto grasses and smothered damaging thistles to protect new trees. Taking a break and walking past a white egret to sit upon the dock as it moved and swayed in the cool breeze.
Came back to my apartment, and exhaustion is starting to catch up with me. Tired eyes and dreaming before spending time with a high school friend. Profile doppelgangers and
1 hour 50 minutes and 4 seconds of laughter with you.
Now I’m sitting here trying to make whisks out of thin silver wire and crushing my attempts with thick fingers. I am so very tired, but I’m reluctant to sleep. I want to stay awake and stay alive and do a million things.
Instead, I rambled.
Nooo! I went onto etsy to buy the cheaper necklace today, and it sold out.
Also, very, very sick today.
So I found a much cheaper version of the baking necklace on etsy.
So tempting…but so unnecessary…
I found this strangely hilarious
I wrote a post at 4 in the morning?!
Hi tumblr-ers (tumblr-ites? tumblreans? Who knows?)
I’m taking a break from writing my paper and it is quite early in the morning, and I’m at that stage where my eyelids are very droopy and my mind is not quite here, and my sentences become even more run on than usual…so please excuse me.
But I was reading a post from my always-inspiring friend, and I started thinking about my life. I came to this conclusion: life is good. Life is so good.
I’ll admit I have my fair share of family problems and confusing situations with friends. And maybe I’m a little bruised and beat up, but I am alive, and fortunate enough to be attending this university and living through all the experiences that come with it.
Life is just so wonderful, and I feel like I’m at this point where something exciting is going to happen soon. Something big, you know?
…or maybe not.
But I just want to have this here so just in case when I wake up tomorrow and look over my posts, and think, “WHAAAAT I left a tumblr post at 4 in the morning instead of finishing my paper?!” I can read this over and remember that I was happy.
I don’t know if I’ve already written this here, but as easy as it is to have this outpouring of emotions and thoughts when you’re sad, I think it’s really important to take note of the good times too. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to look back on the things I wrote and remember the good things.
Anyways, I guess I should get back to working on this paper. That way I can sleep and be nice and rested for the day. Because I’ve got people to meet, things to do, and goodies to bake! Woo!
Hi, I miss you.
It’s something I think everyday, but you’re not here to hear it. Messages ignored, because you choose to or because you can’t bear to listen? It’s the little things in life that have stuck with me. I look at bottles of apple cider & Godiva chocolate stores and think of you. The first of every month is more than just another month passing - every little thing saturated with meaning because you were there to make it special. Why is it I can’t remember names and faces of people who I talk to, but I can keep track of dates and nonsensical words from seven years ago? I have your letters stashed away in my room - I’ve kept them safe in a wooden box. I pull them out and read them, and I sit and think and wonder. Paint pictures of stick figures and flags from another country stored on my external hard drive because as silly as they are, they mean so much to me.
I wish you knew.
I am the happy owner of three oranges, two oro blancos, six mangoes, four bananas, and a pint of blueberries!
My roomie was about to leave for class when she said,
“Our fruit bowl looks like we live on a tropical island!”
Dare to love.